"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13
As I ask God to combat my cynicism, today I am struck by this gift of peace. I equate peace with comfort and long for that to be the norm of my life. Sickness, arguing kids, panicked phonecalls, thwarted goals, burning green beans -- these are interruptions that I resent because they seem abnormal. Comfort is pierced by chaos and disorder.
But today it occurs to me that I've inverted reality. Perhaps chaos is the norm. The backdrop for life is more black than white. The hardness of life prevails with occasional interruptions of comfort.
Rather than deepening cycnicism, this reverse perspective fills me with gratitude. When I expect that each day will be full of stretching and stuggle, I am awed that God offers to fill me with "all joy and peace" and cause me to "overflow with hope". I am looking and listening for His small gifts that pierce the hard with His joy, His peace, His hope.
Today God dropped moments of peace into my day. Sitting quietly with a cup of coffee and His Word. Having my cat sprawled across my lap, purring with contentment. A gray day that seemed to slow the pace. Soul connection with a friend. Listening to my son play cello. My busy girl, sitting still enough to read with me. My big girl asleep on her bed, still wearing her boots. An hour at the library. . . working in front of a fireplace. Lots of crazy, lots of chaos in between, but periodic infusions of peace that defy the hardness of life and cause gratitude to well up in my heart.